Teen idol ranks filled with girls, too

I was sure that my first two columns featuring teen idolscovered everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the topic. Teenidols exist because teen fan magazines and certain cable televisionchannels say so.
These entities decide teen idol status based mostly on cuteness,and cuteness is rewarded with magazine cover photos. The moremagazine covers a performer receives, the more the young fans —mostly girls — who read the magazines and watch television willswoon.
I dubbed this revelation the “Unified Cuteness Theory” andnotified the Nobel Prize committee.
Then I turned in my 359-page dissertation to be edited down tothe mandatory two pages for publication and had almost escaped thenewsroom for a coffee break when two Courier features desk stafferschanted in unison, “Hey, Rick, why aren’t there more female teenidols? Answer that one, mr. Iowa Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.”
And there I was, dragged back into the world of Biebers,Cassidys, Avalons and Fabians. my news colleagues were correct.Look at any reputable list of historic teen idols and 96 out of 100are male. so I guess my column discussing the merits of theoriginal Doobie Brothers versus the post-Michael McDonald band willhave to wait.
Here’s the scoop on female teen idols. Young men don’t react tomost female teen idols the way girls react to male idols. Let’sface it. The guys are more interested in today’s version of RaquelWelch’s bikini poster and Farrah Fawcett’s red swimsuit photograph.Young girls tend to look at female teen idols for their fashion,hair and makeup.
On a recent visit to a local middle school I saw at least fiveSnookie wannabes. I’m not exactly sure what a Snookie is, but thesegirls obviously have studied her hair, makeup and clothes. Teenidol Snookie? Makes me shudder.
Even in the days before mass media and ultra-hype, a performerlike the original Gidget Sandra Dee wowed the impressionable setwith her blonde hairstyle. it was so popular the movie studiomailed out instructions and illustrations on how to duplicate hercoiffure at home. By the way, it took more than 30 curlers to dothe job.
Young teen girls duplicated British model Twiggy’s painted-oneyelashes in the ’60s and Susan Dey’s colorful outfits and long,straight locks during the “The Partridge Family” craze. Don’tforget Nancy Sinatra’s go-go dresses and boots and MaureenMcCormick as Marcia! Marcia! Marcia! Brady in the early ’70s.
Madonna brought us the “Desperately Seeking Susan” look, andMayim Bialik brought a shabby chic, eclectic style of dress to herearly ’90s sitcom “Blossom.”
The Disney Channel gave us Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears,Hilary Duff, Miley Cyrus, and assorted Ravens, iCarlys and “HighSchool Musical” stars have had their moments in the sun. Let’s notforget the original Disney Mouseketeer Annette Funicello.
And yet icons Diana Ross, Dusty Springfield, Jackie DeShannon,Aretha Franklin, Judy Collins and Linda Ronstadt never received theteen idol treatment. Go figure.